Just the Basics, Please?

I know myself well enough to know that moving abroad was going to rattle me a bit (okay, a bigger bit) but that in the end it would be good for me. Some things I like a lot include peace, harmony, control, order, and efficiency. I knew most of the aforementioned things would not be available for some time. Simply put, my expectations have lowered to the point where getting the basic needs of our brood met is satisfying.

(Side note, as I'm proofreading this I just realized that I have this lingering sense of American entitlement that tells me I deserve/ must have/ need Internet. Plenty of people in the world survive without it. It's just that I really don't want to ... especially since it's the only mode I can stay in communication with all the people I know and love in the States. In that same vein, in case some of you may be wondering why it seems I’ve fallen off of the face of the earth. Here’s a little glimpse as to why the process of getting up and running here is Spain is going at a glacially slow speed – read imperceptible movement.)

I did quite a bit of research before coming to Spain and knew that getting Internet and phone can be a major challenge for expats. For this reason I began early on prodding our lovely relocation company with the request to begin working on getting us wired. Since we don’t possess the ever important NIE (think "green card") and only have our American passports to show for ourselves Relocations España had their work cut out for them. Finally, a company was located that promised us the moon – contracted cell service, land-line phone, and Internet. When we arrived at their storefront our hopes of cell service were dashed. Our translator quickly informed us that  it would be impossible to get a cell contract. They did agree to Internet and land-line phone. They said it would take 10-15 days.  We were happy with that. But after 30 days of waiting they sent word that the wiring at our house was incompatible with their systems and they would not be able to provide service. Really, it took a month to figure that out? The American in me wants to stamp my foot and say, unacceptable! Or at least to call someone and complain about the lack of customer service... but I wouldn't be able to say it in Spanish anyway. Also, customer service is not available here. You think I exaggerate!

Back to the drawing board. After more waiting, some surveying of other expats in our neighborhood and with the help of google translate we found a company that could provide service, but the question remained – it they would without our NIEs. We passed the job onto our dutiful relocation agent, David, who went to bat for us. I told him it was absolutely imperative that mi marido have Internet in order to keep a roof over our heads. His work without Iinternet is like a pilot without a plane. After another week of waiting, hoping (and David even promising to sign up for the sevice in his own name if need be)  we were all rewarded with the sweet news that telecom company Moviestar would provide us with service and that they would be out in 5 days to install the appropriate wiring or connect or whatever it is those magic men do.

DH and I couldn’t believe it. We were finally going to have a phone and internet and maybe even a bit of Spanish TV to pass the time…. The morning came and I excitedly announced to the moms at the bus stop that today was a big day “we’re getting furntiture delivered, Internet installed and I’m picking up or new car tonight”. My news was greeted with a more tempered enthusiasm than I'd hoped. We'll keep our cell phones'  handy (in case I have need emergency translation assistance - they are good to me like that) and good luck. I was feeling a growing sense of doom already. 

The long awaited hour came and... went. At 10 a.m. I called David, to confirm the time was indeed scheduled for 9 a.m. He relayed that the tech had been lost but should be arriving shortly. Finally the blessed door buzzed. Tech man shows his ID, I let him in the gate and he immediately begins a tyraid of sorts asking about the end of the line and where is this and that. Having not built the house and only understanding about half of his Spanish I asked him to hold on while I phoned the owner. Owner and now grumpy tech man chat feverishly for several minutes. Tech rambles a bit more and leaves. 20 minutes later Tech 1 returns with Tech 2 asking where owner is. I call owner, he says he is on his way (I missed that somehow, big surprise). Techs both combing house looking for outlet of wiring of some kind I assume. Owner and handy man arrive... Fast forward 20 minutes.

I had this moment standing in my living room of realizing how totally ridiculous my life had become.  I was literally chuckling as four men are wandering about trying to figure out how and where to do something to make internet and phone happen in our home. Three of them were are on their phones all in the same room talking very loudly. Two more men from IKEA are installing a storage system into the wall in said room. They are using drills and making an obscene amount of noise in otherwise empty of furniture and very echoey room. At the same time I'm translating the Spanish that is being spoken to me by owner and handy man I'm also attempting to think and speak in Spanish to the IKEA men that I want the wall unit equally spaced between two walls but not entirely mounted to the wall so we can still access the outlets behind them. All the while in the same room, our lovely new canary is happily and loudly singing his little heart out.  It was a lot like a zoo except it didn't smell as bad. 

End of story, need electrician to come and rewire part of the house for fibre optic lines, as opposed to traditional copper wire. He doesn't know when he can fit it in his calendar, some time next week. After that we can call and schedule an appointment for the unhappy techs to pay us another visit. I have no expectations that they will accomplish much on that second visit either. This is the way of Spain. The reason we love it - slow pace of life, and the reason we hate it - slow pace of life.

"Patience can persuade a prince, and soft speech can break bones." Pro 25:15

*Just for your kicks - no word on when a phone line can be installed, or tv or gas for heat. The owner calls every single day to ask when they will install the gas. I hear it can take six months of longer. Who needs heat, or internet or phone anyway. Can you imagine this ever happening stateside? Like, never. People would revolt and take their business elsewhere, slander the company's name all over the review sites online and they would be out of business. Problem here is that most of these utility companies are monopolies. They know you will wait because they are the only once who got what I need.

**I know blogs aren't even half the fun w/o pictures. I promise to make up for it when my new fibre Internet is installed and my blazing fast connection can handle downloading pictures.